Why I’ll never be a wedding photographer
Jun 11, 2019
Clare Harding
We love it when our readers get in touch with us to share their stories. This article was contributed to DIYP by a member of our community. If you would like to contribute an article, please contact us here.
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I have seen so many posts across various websites and facebook groups this week all centred around one theme – wedding photography. Wedding season is well and truly upon us and I guess that everyone who’s getting married this summer has already booked their photographer. But their guests who are getting married next year or the year after? They’re the ones probably starting to think about who’s going to photograph their big day. And it’s a huge decision to make.
So why the blog post? What has riled me up so much that I feel the need to write about it in a blog?! Well to start with I am not nor have I ever been a wedding photographer. So I’m not touting for business. But basically when people book a photographer (any kind of photographer) I want them to get what they’re paying for – I love value for money no matter what your budget. But certain threads and posts written recently by professional photographers make me think that not everyone has the same standards and that really winds me up.
So why will I never be a wedding photographer?
1. I hate my own wedding photos. There it is, I’ve said it out loud. I’m not going to name and shame and I hope my photographer never reads this. I don’t have one single wedding photo up in my house. The only one you’ll ever see online is the one in this article. I asked for documentary style photos, snapshots of the day. “I don’t want poses” is what I said. “Let’s spend 2 hours of your day doing posed photos” is what the photographer heard. You’d think that in all that time that every base would be covered. Apparently not, because there’s not one photo of me and my dad on my wedding day. He’s in some group ones, but not one photo exists of just me and him on that day.
So the number one reason that I would never want to photograph someone else’s wedding is that I know how it feels to be disappointed with the results. And I would NEVER want that pressure on myself. When I take photos, I want my clients to be over the moon when they see them, and they are. The thing is with wedding photography that you don’t get a do over. Not even if the client isn’t happy. There is no second chance to catch a shot, there’s no asking “can you just do that again please?”. You have to nail it, first time, every time, all day.
2. Which brings me to my second point. If you don’t know that you can nail it first time, every time, all day, don’t tell people that you can. I can take great photos of your family for you, I know I can. But if you asked me to be your wedding photographer? I’d say that I really appreciate you asking, but that there are people who are better suited to what you need. But not every photographer will be that honest with you. And I have a real issue with that.
“But all photographers are the same aren’t they?” Put it this way – would you ask a GP to perform a kidney transplant? Even if you asked, would an honest GP say they’d do it for you? Because a GP and a surgeon are both doctors, right? There are some people who really can be (and are) amazing family photographers and wedding photographers. Because they’ve had years of practise as second shooters, or they were wedding photographers first and then went into family photography. But there are others who’ve been asked to do wedding photos by existing family clients and thought “well why not?”. I’ll tell you why not – if you cock it up, they won’t be existing clients for much longer. And you will have ruined their wedding day.
3. We all know that weddings can be expensive. I say ‘can be’, because loads of people can and do get married on a small budget. But it doesn’t seem to matter how much people are willing to spend on other aspects of their day, when it comes to booking a photographer, I hear the words “that’s so expensive!” stupidly often. I couldn’t cope with hearing that about my own work again and again. Does it cost a lot to hire a good wedding photographer? Most of the time – yes.
But here’s why. Think of all the prep that goes in to shooting a wedding – the meetings with the bride and groom, the countless emails back and forth, the recces to the church and reception venue. How about the 2 cameras and 2 sets of lenses, just in case one set breaks? And the second photographer that you want because you need photos of the bride and groom preparing for the ceremony. And then of course there’s the whole day of actual shooting. A whole day’s worth of photos to sort through and edit. If you’re a seasoned wedding photographer, then you’ll know all that it entails and you’ll know how to price accordingly. If you need to be told how much work being a wedding photographer is, then trust me, you’re not ready to be a wedding photographer. And when you break it down, the money you make for the work you put in isn’t as lucrative as it seems at first glance. It’s not okay to think that shooting a wedding will earn you a quick buck.
So if you’re a bride-to-be reading this, please please please do your research. Ask your potential photographers to see their real life work, ask them if they know your venue, ask them exactly what you get for your money and ask them why you should pick them over others that are on your list. (“I’m cheaper” shouldn’t be the answer you accept).
And if you’re a photographer reading this, and you want to get into wedding photography, please please please learn your trade under an experienced wedding photographer’s wing, not at the expense of your client’s big day. If I save even one person from feeling the way I do about my wedding photos, I’ll consider my blog worth the time it took me to type it.
About the Author
Clare Harding is a Cardiff-based photographer specializing in maternity, newborn, child and family photography. You can see Claire’s work on her website and follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. This article was also published here and shared with permission.
We love it when our readers get in touch with us to share their stories. This article was contributed to DIYP by a member of our community. If you would like to contribute an article, please contact us here.
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61 responses to “Why I’ll never be a wedding photographer”
No way never. I love having control over everything in a shot. Could never deal with the chaos of a wedding and definitely don’t have the patience for a Bridezilla ?
Hahaha I’ve had this exact shot request, thankfully we didn’t do it on the day
weddings are very stressful…..its a one hit …
So yeah, unless you are confident in what you can produce for your clients…dont do it..
I enjoy weddings…but I can see why others wouldn’t touch them with a barge-pole ??
Divorce photography is by far less stressful ( for the photog at least) and is highly consistent. Weddings are Cliche
and boring. Divorce photography is where it’s at. ?
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!
I too decided long ago to never be a wedding photographer for the same reasons. No thank you. I’d be happy to refer you to someone else.
Thanks for writing down the reasons.
Stopped doing weddings almost two years ago :-)
What do you do now ?
Family, children, schools and some product photography.
Don’t give up hope you can do anything you learn.Making mistakes is a part of growing.we all make mistakes it’s what we do afterwards that count
Tried it once. Once was enough.
Ive done it 10 times since 2007, I love it great pay
The author is a whiner. If it wasn’t for wedding photography I wouldn’t have the equipment, Studio, I wouldn’t have paid my college loans, or paid for vacations and Christmas,or have funds for my other buisness
With two solid hours of her precious day spent on posed photography and results of the standard shown above, I have to disagree very strongly that she’s a whiner.
The fact that it has supported you financially is not really relevant to whether some clients get a raw deal. Perhaps your clients got a good deal, but many photographers really do not give such a good service.
Having been shooting weddings for many years now I absolutely love my job but I regret that I do agree with much of what the author has written.
https://www.johnmottershaw.com
Seriously, the article was “Why I’ll never be a wedding photographer”, not “Why Jason Artiga should rethink his life posthaste”
Not everybody clicks with the career path, and she explained why.
If you want to reduce the amount of “whining” on the internet, please avoid this kneejerk desire to leap upon someone to complain about something she didn’t express.
it’s a shame you seem to have read the article incorrectly… i’m glad you’ve made your money from shooting weddings, but my point was that it’s not how I want to make my money. if you re-read it then you might find that it’s actually in support of professional wedding photographers who actual know what they’re doing :)
How is it whining to say you were disappointed in the photos? Or aren’t your customers allowed an opinion?
You can’t paint everything with a broad brush. This author made a discussion and it’s probably a good one…for the author. But it doesn’t mean this applies to everyone. I did weddings for a season and for me, it was something I challenged myself to and it was fulfilling. I took the challenge and did well at it. Now, I realized weddings we’re for me so I stopped, but I can look back and say I did something that was a little fearful. I wouldn’t recommend anyone just jump into it either. Volunteering to be a second shooter is a great way to learn the process.
“Volunteering to be a second shooter is a great way to learn the process.”
Absolutely! I’ve had a great time backing and getting these non-assignments with none of the expectations (and have smoked the primary photog on a few of the occasions, especially since doing it “for a living” doesn’t make a professional.)
Let me actually go back to that: I backed up a “professional wedding photographer” and got better shots than them with pro-am kit, the “professional” gave them a small smattering of middling shots and blamed the model-attractive couple getting married for “not being photogenic”.
Granted, my main wedding photographer got drunk and left halfway, so we were spared because of the lovely human being we had doing photobooth backup. I’ll always try to pay that forward, and have seen more than few cases where they flaked.
Yes, exactly. Some photogs need to find another business. I’ve been to a few weddings where I wanted to approach them and give them some basics like “This is a not a spectator sport. Go and get the shot”
absolutely, it doesn’t apply to everyone, it applies to why *i* would never do wedding photography, not why no-one should (can you imagine if no-one did?! that’d be awful!) :)
Everyone has a niche. I’m not aware of anyone that can do it all and excel across the spectrum. It’s a good idea for people to try different types of photography, find out what your good in, shrink the spectrum, hone that, excel, then expand the spectrum and try something else. I’m currently in the last stage.
Author is a wrong and you (donato) is wrong painting wedding photography with a wide brush and will never go further in the art of photography unless she pushes herself to try new things. Why limit yourself, limit an art form, shy away from challenges and limit your skill set. So ignore her ridiculous reasons to limit your art form are incompetent at best so you can grow as a photographer.
Go back and read what I said.
How can a person’s interests be “wrong”. I’m not interested in photographing sports or portrait photography? Does that mean I am “wrong”?
I’ve photographed weddings for over 15 years. There will always be perpetual clients. Keep your business model simple and develop your own system. Wedding days are repetitive. The only things that change are the people and locations. Piece of cake.
Did a couple wedding and I’ll never do them again. Super stressful marathon race. Nothing is in your control, guest are all in your way, family and brides are demanding, nerves are shot to shit by the end of the day.
No thank you I’ll leave that alone from now on
No.
I just hate weddings. I don’t even want to go to them as a guest. Even if there is an open bar.
aaaah, I’m sure you’d come to my wedding if I’d invite you (and if I’d get Udi to film the wedding)
If Udi’s filming, sure. I’ll drink to that. :)
Are you positively sure that this is what you want
I’ve been a wedding photographer for just under 10 years. Most challenging, stressful, yet rewarding job I’ve ever had.
I’ve been a second shooter / assistant at two weddings, that was enough.
And I missed the mother of the groom punching out the caterer or something I think it was.
I do weddings and it’s one of my favorite genre I do. It’s challenging but it’s very rewarding if you can deal with wedding day deliver great results for your clients. I’ve gotten alot of great reviews, referral, tip money just as token of appreciation.
It’s not a once and done. People come back for family photo and there is something special about capture their family growing up.
I can’t say the same about any other genre I do – family, landscape, portrait, headshot.
Also, wedding photography pay alot more than any other genre I’ve done and they have budget to book beautiful locations for shoots. Definitely more rewarding as a photographer to be always shooting in locations and challenges.
The author makes a lot great points.
Wedding photography is definitely a high pressure profession. And it definitely is a lot of work.
The only thing I question is the need to ask if a photographer has shot at a venue before. A great photographer can deliver great photos from any venue, whether they have shot there before or not.
Wow. What a negative article… what was the point of this???
Wow what a negative response….what was the point of that???
it’s a shame you’ve seen it as negative… the 1.8k people who’ve shared it to FB seem to think otherwise :) the point of the article is explained at the bottom of it (maybe you didn’t enjoy it and stopped reading…) – i hope that people will re-consider taking on weddings when they don’t know what they’re doing.
as my comment was flagged as spam, I’m gonna try my luck and paste it here:
Interesting article, no doubt. A bit contradictory in my opinion, and I would like to point out some things that I find interesting to talk about, or point out to the author:
Point 1:
“I hate my own wedding photos. There it is, I’ve said it out loud. I’m not going to name and shame ..”- that is really unfortunate and of course no one professional ever wants to read this about their work or hear it from their client, however you probably should have listened to your own argument in point 3, that an expensive photog usually means experienced. Reading this paragraph it seems you either went with a cheap option or, again contradicting yourself, went with a “family friend” photographer.
“I asked for documentary style photos…” – it seems to me that you chose a photographer who is not a documentary type of a shooter, was this due to a good price, or due to him/her being a family friend? Unfortunately you chose a wrong style photographer for your day. Most likely you’ve put them in an awkward situation by asking them to shoot a style they are not comfortable in, by my guess, after you paid their booking fee.
“…because there’s not one photo of me and my dad on my wedding day.” – again this is unfortunate, but it happened exactly because you asked them to “shoot moments”. It is obvious from your article that the photographer was out of their “depth” and style of shooting, hence, listening to, and being willing to accommodate you, they only “shot moments”. In all likeliness, you and your dad never were “naturally” together for a longer period of time on your wedding. Brides tend to go and hang with friends, and parents tend to go and mingle with their own age group. If you and your dad were hanging together most of the day, and there are no pix of the two of you, then I would definitely blame the photog, otherwise….
“So the number one reason that I would never want to photograph someone else’s wedding is that I know how it feels to be disappointed with the results.” – you will only be disappointed if you don’t listen to your own advice you wrote about.
“And I would NEVER want that pressure on myself” – this just tells us that you don’t do well under pressure. No real argument, however, this is your post about why you don’t wanna be a wedding photographer, so of course you can write whatever you want, but please keep in mind that seasoned wedding photographers feel strange if there is no pressure on the day (IMO, like this whole post)
“There is no second chance to catch a shot, there’s no asking “can you just do that again please?…” – no there isn’t, that’s why it’s important that the wedding photographer handles pressure well, and performs well under it. But it’s a bit unclear what you mean by this sentence; it seems from your article that you wanted a documentary photographer, not the one that asks you to “do that again, please”. So why even bring this up?
Point 2:
“If you don’t know that you can nail it first time….but that there are people who are better suited to what you need. But not every photographer will be that honest with you. And I have a real issue with that.” – this is spot on, no one should advertise the services they are not competent in, and saying upfront that you don’t know how to do it is the most professional thing there is. But, if you are searching for a wedding photographer, you shouldn’t be browsing a fashion photographer’s portfolio, or a family photographer’s portfolio… by sticking to the niche of photography you want, you will most likely get a satisfactory result.
“But all photographers are the same aren’t they?” Put it this way – would you ask a GP to perform a kidney transplant? “ – here you are again contradicting yourself, of course you don’t ask a GP to do a kidney transplant, so why did you ask your photographer to shoot ”moments” if they are a “posy” photographer?
“But there are others who’ve been asked to do wedding photos by existing family clients and thought “well why not?”. I’ll tell you why not – if you cock it up, they won’t be existing clients for much longer. And you will have ruined their wedding day.” – I agree with you on this, but like always there is a “but” and “however”, so: however, if the couple knows that the photog in question is inexperienced, or building their portfolio, AND they don’t mind to get a “get what you get” package, then why wouldn’t they choose them , if it’s all the same to them?
Point 3:
“…I hear the words “that’s so expensive!” stupidly often. I couldn’t cope with hearing that about my own work again and again. Does it cost a lot to hire a good wedding photographer? Most of the time – yes.” – you answered your own question, congratulations., and rightly so. Experienced, established wedding photographers who perform under pressure and deliver all day, every day are worth the money. But “I couldn’t cope with hearing that about my own work again and again” means that you are all the opposites of what I listed. Why are you even writing this article? To tell us that you are not gonna do something that you never planned on doing in the first place? Weird.
“But here’s why. Think of all the prep that goes in to shooting a wedding…” – spot on, yes, everything you listed is true and correct, that’s why pro wedding photographers should charge what they charge, and when it comes to clients, it should be: you either love it enough to pay, or take your chances wit someone else.
“So if you’re a bride-to-be reading this, please please please do your research” – yup! but more importantly: don’t look at the price tag, rather ask yourself if you *feel* something when looking at this photographers work.
“And if you’re a photographer reading this, and you want to get into wedding photography, please please please learn your trade under an experienced wedding photographer’s wing, not at the expense of your client’s big day.” -again, I agree with you Clare, see, I’m not all about bashing….BUT this: “If I save even one person from feeling the way I do about my wedding photos, I’ll consider my blog worth the time it took me to type it.” – you chose wrong, just deal with it, admit it to yourself, you asked someone for who knows what reason to shoot in a way they are not familiar with. You simply didn’t listen to your own advice, and if you say “well I can only write this article in retrospect”, I’m sure that there is a lot of parallels you could have drawn from your experience as a family photographer prior to choosing the photographer for your special day, so it’s on you.
Cheers
You’re sort of proving my point for me… it doesn’t matter whether i spent tens, hundreds or thousands on my photographer, or whether she was a family friend or a total stranger. if i ask for something and the photographer can’t deliver that, they should pass the job to someone else who can deliver. THAT is the point of the article – don’t tell people you can do something if you don’t know that you can.
it’s nice to hear that you’re not “all about the bashing”, but i’d probably disagree with you based on your comment. you seem to be assuming a lot of things about me from this one article, and your very last point shows that. anyone who actually knows me would be able to figure out why :)
Thanks for the reply Clare,
I get your points, the only thing I wanted to point out is that you are contradicting yourself.
You are right, I don’t know you, but am sure you are a nice and decent person, so I just wanted to say that your arguments and the points you are making are contradictory. In one sentence you are saying that you shouldn’t get a cheap photog, but in another you are blaming your own photographer for not “delivering”. Was it an (expensive) well established photographer you booked? You didn’t touch upon this matter in your article, and from the article I get a sense that you did exactly what you are advising people not to do, then blaming your photographer indirectly under the veil of “why I will never shoot weddings”.
Now the assumption of “if i ask for something and the photographer can’t deliver that, they should pass the job to someone else who can deliver.” is on point, but you must have been looking through that persons portfolio and seen their work, and hence should have concluded that they are not offering what you are looking for (doc style). So why ask them to do something they are not efficient in? Why didn’t you do exactly what you are advising in your article, not asking a GP to do a kidney transplant?
They are actually a documentary style photographer :) I haven’t gone into detail about the details because I don’t want the focus of the article to be on who I hired. The point is true for all wedding photographers, whatever their style, experience and cost – they should deliver what they say they will.
Well, then it’s on them. But why did they ask you to do a 2h posed shoot then?
Very strange. In any case, thank you for reading my arguments, I hope they were not taken too strongly, as I said, I’m not about bashing Being in the wedding industry a client should be informed about all, and presented with what can be done. Of course each wedding is different, and if moments don’t present themselves a client shouldn’t be expecting them.
She is explaining her choice. Nothing negative about that unless you are particularly thin-skinned and looking for negativity.
Very arrogant, stupid thinking and limiting. Pretty stupid to limit your opertunities like this author has.
Couldn’t disagree more. There are so many people who think they can go straight into shooting weddings and make an easy buck. These same people can leave some very disappointed and upset clients in their wake. It’s not a commercial shoot where it can be redone the next day, it’s an extremely important day to people.
There is nothing stupid about an author sharing good very good reasons why she would not personally do wedding photography. I wish other people would put the same amount of thought into it instead of treating weddings as though they’re just easy money.
Author is a wrong and you (John M) are clearly wrong will likely never go further in the art of photography unless she (and you) pushes themselves to try new things. Wedding photography is difficult, you have to be quick and organized. Why limit yourself, limit an art form, shy away from challenges and limit your skill set. So ignore her ridiculous reasons to limit your art form are incompetent at best limiting growing as a photographer.
“Clearly wrong” in your opinion.
With respect Alan, I’m a full time wedding photographer who has photographed several hundred weddings, so I do actually know what’s involved.
Just calling people incompetent, arrogant, stupid and ridiculous is obviously your style. Not great for shooting weddings!
There are many challenges in life and there are many forms of photography. We all choose what we do and what suits us. It’s up to each one of us to choose.
To say that anyone and everyone who is interested in photography is stupid not to go practice their artistic skills on someone’s big day is quite bizarre and I suspect that anyone who suggests such a thing has never done it properly themselves.
i don’t shy away from challenges, but neither do i push myself to directions that i have no interest in. that would be a waste of my time :)
That’s a bit like saying you’ll never learn how to drive if you don’t do Formula 1, or Indy, or Rally, or become a taxi driver.
It’s a crap argument, and you know it. :)
How is it “stupid” to not shoot something you don’t want to shoot? How is it limiting anything? If I wanted to get paid to do stuff I don’t wanna do, I’d just get a “real job”. :)
i can assure you that i’m neither arrogant or stupid, but thanks for taking the time to read the article :)
Well, when I was just starting out, my spiel to people coming to me for wedding photography was “I’m not a professional. There are other people who would do a better job than me. BUT, if you still want me to do it, I’ll do it, but you just have to be aware of what you’re getting.”
Here’s the good and the bad. The good, you’ll learn how to charm upset people, sometimes lots of upset people because you have to make them look bright, spontaneous and connected when they’re upset, or else big trouble. You’ll learn very fast equipment management all the time but especially in crises, or else big trouble. You’ll learn to how to come up with lots of creative ideas fast or else, again, big trouble. And you’ll learn how to get people to do what you want them to do, or else, yes, more big trouble. And you’ll learn how to do these 4 things, the charm, the technical, the creativity and the contol all at the same time. Wedding photography is the trenches, and when you’ve done it for a while, fashion, portraiture, food, landscape feel like what you do for relaxation, so the good news is you’ll be skilled. The other good news is that it’s comparatively easier to get wedding work and if you’re good and you’ve got business sense you can do well. Plus you actually have to enjoy yourself to come up with brilliant work, if you love what you do it’ll be in your work and if you’re a sourpuss it’ll be in your work too, so wedding work is happiness training. Now the bad. You will have zero social life. When your friends are having a party on the weekend you’ll be shooting. At night time during the week you’ll be interviewing, probably every night if you’re successful. Also, it’s a trap, most wedding photographers dream of landscape, art, travel or any other kind of photography but they don’t do it because you’re booked ahead for a year, the money’s coming in and hey, you’re a photographer and being any kind of photographer means you’re enjoying what you do way more than most people. It’s hard to move on and finaly other than the guys who go table to table in restaurants, you are the lowest point on the food chain. If you run into a fashion or aerial or commercial or anything other than wedding photographer they will shake their heads in pity or just ignore you after you tell them what you do. That’s not a big one, I’d always think that my work meant something for decades while their’s a week or two. But, if you’re thinking about going into it keep that social thing in mind. Other than that it was great and the other photographers were good blokes, great company too.
The mods are making my original comment as spam, but Clare, the truth is, you chose wrong. A lot of comments you wrote are contradictory, and I wrote a whole bunch of arguments, but I guess we’ll never read them together.
How can her choice be wrong if it was HER CHOICE? She’s not interested in wedding photography and explains why? Why are you butthurt about HER CHOICE? Did she say that she thinks wedding photography is stupid or sucks or anything derogatory? No. She said it just wasn’t for her. I myself am not interested in sports or portrait photography. I may take a photo of such here and there, but it isn’t something I’m going to seek out. I am more interested in abstract or landscape photography. Your comment is akin to criticizing a sculptor for not dabbling in painting.
“How can her choice be wrong if it was HER CHOICE?”– sometimes in life we make choices that we are not happy with, and from her article, she’s not happy with the choice she made – booking that photographer. If you didn’t notice she’s not happy with her wedding photos.
“She’s not interested in wedding photography and explains why?” – true, and that’s fine, but why would a prominent family photographer even need to raise this point? I mean, her choice in the field is “family”, so what’s the point of writing that she doesn’t want to be a wedding photographer? I mean it’s like writing something just for the sake of writing. It’s already obvious that her field is “family” portraiture.
“Why are you butthurt about HER CHOICE?” – I’m not, I’m just”butt hurt” that someone is willing to write a whole article why wedding photographers may suck because she doesn’t know how to make a choice and/or didn’t do her research- listing the reason she overlooked in making a decision a.k.a. contradiction. I mean just look at her portfolio on insta, it’s amazing! and she still chose someone that is willing to give her that (photo that she shows in the title of this article…)It seems that she went contrary to what she wrote about, choosing a cheap and/or family friend to shoot her wedding. IMO.
“Did she say that she thinks wedding photography is stupid or sucks or anything derogatory? No. She said it just wasn’t for her.” – I never said that she said these thing, I do however think she’s aware of her mistake, and now under the title “why I will never be a wedding photographer” is venting.
” I myself am not interested in sports or portrait photography. I may take a photo of such here and there, but it isn’t something I’m going to seek out. I am more interested in abstract or landscape photography.” – that’s fine and great -and that’s what you should be talking about not the opposite. You re not writing why you don’t want to be a, say, fashion photographer, that’s the whole point of my reply, that writing about something that you never wanted to do in the first place is strange. We get that Clare is not happy with her wedding photos, but the article shouldn’t be “why I don’t want to be a wedding photographer” it should be “what to look out when you are searching for a wedding photographer”.
“Your comment is akin to criticizing a sculptor for not dabbling in painting.” – I would criticize any sculptor for his poor choice in a painter that made his portrait that he/she’s not happy with, if he went through his body of work prior to booking.
You don’t have to read the article now do you? Talk about thin skin. SHE doesn’t want to do wedding photography. Why does that bother you so much?
hat tip