Dear wedding couples – Stop asking friends to shoot your wedding just because they have a nice camera
Sep 7, 2020
Andreas Samaris
We love it when our readers get in touch with us to share their stories. This article was contributed to DIYP by a member of our community. If you would like to contribute an article, please contact us here.
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What’s happened has happened. But, I just kind of want to rant and maybe if some future brides/grooms see this I want them to get the side of a photographer who may also be your friend.
Friends of mine got hitched. It was kind of last moment but they delayed their wedding due to COVID and decided to have a small 2 man ceremony (bride, groom, 2 witnesses and the commissioner).
I was given details about the wedding 2 weeks prior to the wedding. A week before I got the inevitable “please bring your camera”. I’m usually pretty passive and I honestly don’t mind, but since it’s such a small intimate ceremony I wanted to share the moment with my homies rather than running around all over the place with the camera.
I am by no means a professional. I would, however, consider myself a pretty serious shooter who can consistently generate decent images. Also, I generally dislike any type of work where I’m being told what to do, although I do love photography. I didn’t think I’d get an opportunity like this in the future, though, so I just sort of let it slide.
The day comes and I take a half-day off work. I start to get ordered around by the bride and groom, being told what type of photos to take, they ask me to take some posed studio photos typical of weddings (bouquet shots, vows, veil, etc). And while I’m very happy to join them on their special day, I honestly just wanted to be intimate with the ceremony and enjoying the moment of my 2 friends coming together.
Instead, I was running around trying to get them the best shots possible because I want them to have the best photos ever because I need to ensure the quality I output meets up to my personal standards. I made a light-hearted comment about how on average a wedding photographer gets 2 to 4 grand for the day and that’s my wedding gift for them until they have their real ceremony post-COVID.
Most photographers aren’t as passive as me and we honestly just want to enjoy your special day. If you do want to use a friend for photography just be honest and a have a serious discussion like a work contract. Always offer financial compensation, gear, time and skill set are extremely valuable. And even though I probably would have refused it, it’s just a light touch that can make the situation slightly better.
Don’t forget, if your friend fucks up, it can really strain a relationship. If you are not happy with the quality of the photos they take, it can make things awkward between you two as well.
Regardless, I’m happy for my friends and I’m happy to have been there. I’m not really mad at anything that transpired, but just understand that it’s difficult to celebrate your moment with you. Understand that this is work and hiring a professional can be expensive as hell.
About the Author
Andreas Samaris is a Vancouver, Canada-based semi-pro landscape and travel photographer and a Red Seal plumber by trade. You can find out more about Andreas on his website or follow him on Instagram. This article was also published here and shared with permission.
We love it when our readers get in touch with us to share their stories. This article was contributed to DIYP by a member of our community. If you would like to contribute an article, please contact us here.
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15 responses to “Dear wedding couples – Stop asking friends to shoot your wedding just because they have a nice camera”
When I shoot friends weddings, I don’t stress myself out but enjoy the time with them. Guess as a photographer your the only one getting this much time alone with the couple on their special day. Just make the best out of it!
How much? ?
til;dr the author is a simp who doesn’t know how to say “no”.
Been through that a couple of times and people don’t always understand why you don’t want to bring your camera at their wedding. For them you’re just doing your hobby and should be happy they give you the opportunity to do so
Well, I’m not. I say no. Then they spend the next six months trying to change your mind and convince you because, as Vincent says, they just don’t get it.
Now I just say “Sure, my weddings start at £10K” and they don’t ask again. :)
You were there as the “help”, not in a friend capacity. Looking at the guest list, you were obviously there for the picture taking. That being said, it was on you to say “yay” or nay”. If anything, if you would have said no, you likely would not have been invited…
“Sorry, it’s at the manufacturer being repaired..” ?♂️?♂️
I did it once as a gift to them. My first wedding. Got some fantastic shots. Went really well. ??♂️
I said “yes” once to never say it again. I was so concentrated in getting the result that I was not able to enjoy the wedding for a single minute. At the end pictures were fantastic and my friend was more than happy, but this was the first and last time for me. If you want me to invite me as a friend, then don’t ask me to take pictures. At least as the main photographer. I can accept to take some pictures if you like my point of view as a friend, but nothing more than that.
Sorry but this should be the title, “Dear photographer, grow a backbone and stop photographing your friends wedding for free just because they ask since you have a nice camera.”
Did it once for a coworker as a gift…never again. If they aren’t paying for it, they don’t respect your time.
Shouldn’t this be published in “Brides” magazine, as photographers we know this. Just saying.
You either go to the wedding as a guest or the photographer as you can’t do both. If you’re going as the photographer then you’re either gifting the most expensive present of the day or you need to charge.
I have shot some friends weddings (not closest friends), and they have always paid without expecting anything though they do usually get a discount of sort.
“Social” photography, in general, has far less value today than ten and twenty years ago. The proliferation of cheap cameras (in your phone, no less) that produce acceptable (to lay eyes) results has really had an impact. I’ve been a pro for 25 years, and when I’m asked by a friend/family to “take a few”, I start by recommending that, if they just want casual shots, they just ask friends to upload their own shots and videos. This causes them to think about it, and if they conclude that they want something better, they’ve already made their own argument to hire a professional.
I look at it differently. I have shot weddings for many years. I started as a sailor shooting other sailors weddings because as any military enlisted = no money. It is also important that the wedding party know what they are getting and It was beneficial to me as it gave me experience. As I because more into the job, I still did unpaid shoots as I remember having no money and had to do without. However, if the wedding was $$$ with all the bells and whistles and they wanted a free or next to nothing shoot, no. So you can’t really make it a blanket call. You need to look at each job as an individual.