Wedding videographers duo refuses to shoot a same-sex couple in order to “stay true to beliefs”

July 26, 2018 by Dunja Djudjic 37 Comments

After finding the perfect wedding videographer, Paula Fries and Katie Brown soon learned that they weren’t the perfect clients – because they are a same-sex couple. The husband and wife team of videographers refused to work with them in order to “stay true to their beliefs.” Fries and Brown spoke about it in the media, and also shared the email they got from the videographers.

Fries told CBS19 that Gardenia from Charlottesville, Virginia at first seemed like the perfect match for their wedding. Brown and Fries say that they informed wedding vendors about their sexual orientation, so they reportedly did the same with Gardenia before booking them. It seemed that everything was fine. CBS19 reports that the ladies soon got an invoice for a down payment of $625 and a contract to sign. However, the contract was never signed because the duo behind Gardenia changed their minds.

Hours after receiving the contract, the Fries and Brown got the following email from the videographers:

Paula,

After much discussion with my wife and co-owner, this evening we have decided that we would not be the best match to film your wedding. We are just really wanting to stay true to our beliefs and hope that you can respect that. I understand how this is not a great thing to hear after being excited about finding someone to film your wedding. We would be more than happy to pass your wedding date along to other videographers in our area to see if they would be available to film your wedding if you would like us to do that for you.

Sincerely,

Alex + Brett Sandridge

Gardenia

Yesterday after multiple conversations and a contract sent to us, the videographer for our wedding decided they can not…

Posted by Paula Fries on Saturday, July 21, 2018

Brown told CBS19 that this made them feel “like the rug was pulled out from under them.” What made the frustration even bigger is that they reportedly closed out communication channels with everyone else when Gardenia sent them the contract. They didn’t sign it nor paid anything, but they still felt discriminated. Brown shared a copy of the email on her Facebook page, and it quickly went viral.

As a result, Gardenia’s Facebook page was deactivated after they received too many negative reviews. Fries and Brown say that they have received lots of support and people even offered to film their wedding for free. “For those who say religion is a reason for why they discriminate and oppress a certain subset of people, is that really a good belief system to begin with,” Brown wonders. And I wonder the same thing.

I am not religious myself, but I come from a religious family. And from what I’ve learned from them, the religion should teach us about tolerance, love, and respect. Rejecting to work with a same-sex couple is by all means discrimination. Also, this is not the first time to hear that someone rejects collaboration because of someone’s sexual orientation. To me personally, it seems like a wrong way to practice a religion. But there is another side, too.

One of the comments on Fries’ post sums it up perfectly, saying that accusing the videographers of discrimination is “the pot calling the kettle black.” In other words, if the couple expects someone to understand their choices and beliefs, they should respect theirs, too. Also, it obviously wasn’t easy for the videographers to make the decision. They apologized, they were polite, and they offered to help the couple find another videographer.

It’s difficult for me to take sides here, as I think both of them are right up to one point, but also wrong up to another. What do you think about this case?

[via FStoppers; CBS19]

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RightOrWrong

. . . but it’s perfectly okay for a restaurant to refuse service to Sarah Sanders or Kellyanne Conway . . . or Mike Pence . . . or a someone wearing a MAGA hat . . . or police officers.
- Henry Block
  
  It hypocrisy, for sure. What people also forget is that no one wants to eat the food someone doesn’t want to make for you (I wouldn’t trust the chef behind closed doors), the product of a photographer who doesn’t want to shoot a wedding will likely be less than optimal, etc.
- Renlish
  
  That was done to prove a point.
  
  A point which you have clearly missed.
  - RightOrWrong
    
    The point is Double Standards and Hypocrisy
- April
  
  There is a thing in the law called “protected classes”. None of the people you named would qualify.
aleroe

Find another videographer. Even if the law would force a videographer (or cake baker) to work your wedding, do you really want to rely on someone who doesn’t want to be there? It’s your big day; don’t invite hostility.
Alecio P

I think the videographers are on their right, but that being said…. it is a shame we are in 2018 and we see a gay couple being denied “things” because of their sexual orientation. It is just beyond my understanding why people would care so much about sexuality, I mean others’s sexuality.
- Sean
  
  They were not denied anything. They have the option of finding another vendor to film their wedding. To be denied would indicate that they have no other options. I am a moderate Republican. I am a Christian. I have NO problem with gay marriages or with whomever you choose to love and live your live with or in what way. What I DO have a problem with is those that do live that alternate (at this point, I really don’t even consider them alternate in 2018 but lack a better term at the moment…maybe non-traditional?) life thinking that they can crap on those who have beliefs that conflict with that life style. It’s hypocritical. While I think this couple were probably upfront (according to the article) about their sexual orientation I think that the videographers were conflicted (maybe out of fear of a lawsuit) to start with. If they had turned them down originally they may have feared retaliation. Simple way would have been to say “gee, sorry we are booked that day”.
stewart norton

I think the videographers were polite and helpful and not in anyway disrespectful. I have shot same sex weddings but know of photographers who would not due to religious beliefs, there are plenty of people who would be happy to work for them book one of them they get the video coverage they want and the ones who turned you down loses your business and any potential referrals…and life goes on.
Franco Kailsan

what’s this thing ‘ tolerance and love’ you speak so fondly of?
Tom Dahm

You know what, people have a right to refuse to work with anybody they want regardless if it hurts feelings. The article says there was no contract signed and nothing was paid.

I’m tired of people getting holy roller on businesses that dont cater to them (in ANY capacity). You dont like it? OH WELL, that just means they’re not for you.
- Meng Tian
  
  The author is criticizing that discriminatory cult. Nothing wrong bout that.
- Hmmmmm
  
  Not since 1964.
- Kryn Sporry
  
  Yes, but not AFTER accepting in the first place.
  - Robertt1
    
    They didn’t sign anything.
Grant Nelson

I’m sure there are plenty of videographers who would love to have the business. No need to force beliefs. It works both ways.
Theuns Verwoerd

Intolerance is bad. Forced labour is worse.
ButSeriously

Why would the videographers talk with the couple, book the couple, invoice the couple, send the couple a contract, and then send an afterthought email saying no. Sounds like the videographer spouses had a “my belief trumps your tolerance” moment. Lucky for the couple they have time to book another videographer.
Gonzalo Ruiz-Esquide

And maybe that’s what you think religion is all about, but they have other ideas, wouldn’t that be amazing?
Антон Алейников

“Same-sex couples” — are patients with a serios disease. They need long term psychology care instead of photographing.
- Kryn Sporry
  
  So do you
Kryn Sporry

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with refusing do shoot same sex couples for any believes. That’s the choice of said photographers and it’s their right. But it’s silly to first accept, send a contract with request for down payment, and THEN reject the whole thing. That’s just unprofessional. Even though the letter was polite and respectful (to a certain degree).

There’s another thing to consider: you shoot professionally to make money right? So why not set your personal feelings aside and treat it like any other business? After all, it’s money into your wallet. Income, dollars, pesos, euros, sterling, bitcoins, whatever, it’s money, that you can use for food and bills and new gear. Business is business.
- Jackalope1221
  
  In the regard one could shoot porn for one person, a gun lobbying ad for another and it all be okay just because it’s money. Some people can have ethics and personal believes and still be professional. These guys did not turn this down professionally. They have the right but handled it poorly to say the least. That seemed like a chicken way out. I think they should have made a personal phone call or something.
Henry Block

Who cares? Do you really expect forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do will result in a superior product? Find someone else to shoot the wedding.
- Robertt1
  
  They don’t care for the product as much as they care for victimizing and slander the person with different beliefs.
  - Whatdoyknow
    
    Exactly, different beliefs!! That’s the whole point. That’s the tolerance we should exercise. Or do you mean to say if YOU believe different from me that I am wrong??
Δημητρης Πλαστηρας

The only things we should have zero tolerance are racists, sexists and fascists and not gay couples. Just sayin’
kso721

Religion: dividing people for millenia.
- Ra
  
  As has philosophy, ideology, science, sports, and mere opinion.
  - kso721
    
    So, let’s just recap; your hypothesis is that non-belief in imaginary sky wizards from the one of the world’s ancient desert belief systems prior to the advent of modern science leads to socialism and communism. You might be the winner of the most absurd comment of the day. when you form a structure a belief system such as christianity/islam/monotheism that all other beliefs systems and or deities are wrong, you’ve implemented a mental block that causes useless division. But tell me more how non-belief in santa clause, the tooth fairy, and satan lead to communism and socialism. smh.
    - Ra
      
      You’re obviously missing my point, which is that people are always going to find some reason to fight. Remove religion and nothing would change. Calm down and re-read my comment.
Daniel D. Teoli Jr

I wanted to get a book printed a few years ago. But the printers were related to the Mennonites and did not want to print my material and found my photography offensive. I guess I should have sued them.
Mark Ussery

You said it was difficult for you to take sides but you were obviously biased.
suruha

Hypocrisy in the name of religion! Ah, yes! Typical of certain folks who discriminate. The argument bodes well for their purpose, after they put their own personal slant on it!
Renlish

Never ceases to make me laugh when people pull out the religious card for this stuff. Shooting a gay wedding is not going to affect YOUR personal beliefs – it will not make you gay. What happened to love the sinner, hate the sin? And seriously, why bother meeting the couple only to pull the plug later? Should have just said they weren’t available. There are ways around it that stop you looking like the douche that you are and effectively keep your face out of the media. For example:

“I am so sorry, we have double-booked that weekend! This was our awful mistake, and we need to honour our initial contract with the first clients we booked for that weekend – I am sure you understand. Unfortunately we are booked for most weekends around your wedding date for several weeks so rescheduling is not an option at this point. We would be more than happy to refer you on.”

Done. No talk of religion. No talk of discrimination.
- X2M
  
  Completely agree. I found it very strange to refuse a work based on pseudo-religious beliefs. It would be so simple to find a credible excuse that wouldn’t hurt anybody’s feeeling…
X2M

This is just a ridiculous discussion as usual with this kind of subject. Could we come back to common sense and just answer simple questions?
– Why should anybody be compelled to work for any client?
– Why should tolerance always be requested on the same side?
– And finally who demonstrated more intolerance than the other? The couple writing an email or the couple that sued them publicly on facebook and tried to make as much damage to their business as they could?