‘Twas the camera before Christmas (a poem with profound apologies to Clement Moore)

‘Twas the camera before Christmas, when all through the store
Not a feature was stirring, not even a CMOS sensor;
The neck-straps were hung by the film with care,
In hopes that buyers soon would be there;
The lenses were nestled all snug in their cases,
While visions of flashbulbs danced in their faces;
And the anniversary of Argus nearing, and C3 having a nap,
President Bill Pearson (of Argus Camera Company) just settled his plans, the camera deal was a wrap —

When out on the marketplace there rose such a clatter,
He sprang with his wallet to see what was the matter,
Away to buy hundreds of cameras he threw out his cash,
Tore open the cameras and refurbished the stash.
The deal, on the 60th anniversary was going to be a really big show,
Gave a luster of newness  to hundreds of C3s in tow;
When, what to the president’s wondering eyes should appear,
But the company’s anniversary deal, was failing to adhere,
With a little old contract, for a promotion and corporate gift,
He knew in a moment the deal was about to shift.
More rapid than 1/1000 of a second his cameras they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now, Ansco! now, Kodak! now, Graflex and Sears!
On! Spartus, on! Polaroid, on! White and Revere —
To the top of the shelf, to hit the mall!
Now, cash away, cash away, cash away all!”
As dried up promises that before the wild promotion fly,
When now with a broken deal, new C3s pile up to the sky,
So, out to the warehouse the cameras they flew
With shelves full of new C3s — and the Argus anniversary ending too.
And then in a twinkling Pearson hatched a new plan,
The new shutters and lenses would make him the man.
As he drew up his new plan, and was turning around,
Down to the warehouse Nieman-Marcus came with a bound.

Each camera was dressed all in leather from its knobs to its lever,
And none of the chrome was tarnished with rust from bad weather;
A bundle of cameras the retailer had flung to the catalog back,
And shoppers looked for Christmas gifts with just the right knack;
This new deal oh how it twinkled! Staged in the catalog now merry!
Cameras were readied, the sale price was the cherry;
Hundreds of cameras would be all wrapped up with a bow,
Nieman-Marcus had saved Argus the deal was a go;
The famous Christmas catalog was the venue,
And 1998 featured 200 C3s on the menu.
Priced at $275 apiece, and sales rung up all jolly
Nieman-Marcus ensured those refurbished cameras hadn’t been a folly,

Sales were swift and plentiful — a vintage camera sold in spite of itself;
And Pearson laughed when sales oversold the warehouse shelf.
A wink of his eye, and a sense of sales in his head,
Soon gave Argus’ remaining stock a go ahead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And priced all leftover cameras; under $130 with a quirk,
And laying these leftovers aside that day,
And giving a nod, these cameras were shipped postpaid.
Pearson’s job was complete, to Argus a promotion so sweet,
And away all C3 cameras flew in an incredible feat;
But so ended Argus, this last sale turned off the light,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Enjoy.

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