This is why you look bad in photos (and it’s not the camera!)

After many years of being a portrait photographer, I have a theory that anyone who actually likes having their photo taken is either a professional model or a psychopath. There is simply no middle ground. The majority of ‘ordinary’ people find it excruciating (myself included), and this has always been one pain point I’ve tried to address in my photo sessions.

Of course, I was immediately drawn to this Ted Talk by portrait and boudoir photographer Teri Hofford. And it’s absolutely fascinating. It’s aimed at everybody, but I think it’s also incredibly important that we, as photographers, understand this so that we can better make our subjects feel more comfortable when they are in front of the lens.

Teri says that the reason people cringe when they see a photo of themselves is the same reason that we all hate our voices on an audio recording. Essentially your brain is presented with an alternative reality than the one it is used to. In that, we have an internal image of how we see ourselves, or more accurately imagine ourselves. If the photo presented to us isn’t in line with that self-image, it can be jarring.

These are the top 5 reasons that people don’t like their photos:

You are seeing a reflected image

The first reason Teri gives is an obvious one: we’ve been looking at a reflection of ourselves our whole lives, whether it’s in a mirror or the selfie camera on our phone. A photograph, however, shows us the flip side of that image, or what other people see. It may not seem like it should be a big deal, but apparently, to our brain, it is. And the less symmetrical your face, the bigger the difference.

You don’t resonate with how you are portrayed

This is a huge one for us photographers. If a person doesn’t resonate with how they come across in a photo, they probably won’t like it. That’s why none of us liked those stiff school photos where the teacher combed our hair for us. They simply aren’t us. This shows just how important it is that we talk to our clients first and really try to get an idea of their essence and how they see themselves fitting into the world.

Of course, the reverse can also be true, and that is why photography can be incredibly empowering. We are often far harsher to ourselves than we are to others, and a great photographer can showcase all the best features and minimise others. I’ve had many clients suddenly realise just how beautiful they are, and seeing themselves for the first time how their loved ones see them is very gratifying.

What makes one person feel beautiful and confident is different from what another will. We are all infinitely varied in this way, which keeps life (and photography) interesting. We just need to be open-minded and listen to our clients more.

You fixate on your insecurities

We all have them, especially women. I’ve been surprised to notice that it’s often the most conventionally beautiful people who have the most insecurities. To delve into this properly, you’ll probably need a psychology degree. However, as portrait photographers, we do need to have a basic understanding of this, empathy, and a practical toolkit for photographing people to minimize these insecurities.

For example, if a woman says she’s sensitive about her arms, don’t have her stand in a way that emphasises that body part and makes it look larger than it is.

Unrealistic expectations

I am glad I’m not a teenager today, growing up with the barrage of social media influencers that we are all subjected to. Sure, in the nineties, we had stick-thin supermodels. However, those were almost other-worldly and confined to the pages of monthly glossy magazines. I’m not saying those images didn’t have a negative effect on us, but they didn’t seem to infiltrate the day-to-day like they seem to now.

How many times do our clients ask us to “Photoshop that out”? Often, I look at them in disbelief, thinking, “There’s nothing wrong with that!” I get it; the pressure is everywhere. My friend recently convinced herself she needs Botox (she doesn’t) to stay competitive in her job. Somewhere along the road, our expectations of how we should look have become distorted.

Teri makes a great point when she says that photography is only meant to capture a single moment in time. That’s it! It’s not meant to be the most incredible photo of us at any point, ever. It’s just how we are, right now, in this moment. I rather like that embracing the moment approach rather than the seeking of perfection. Perfection isn’t real anyway, and everyone knows which images have been photoshopped.

Some angles are better than others

As photographers, we all know this, and of course, it’s all down to physics. Most of us will use this knowledge to emphasize some features and minimize others when taking a photo. Trust me, however, when I tell you those rules and angles don’t always work – if anyone can tell me how to simultaneously minimize both your bum and your muffin top, I’m all ears!

If we take this too far, a photo shoot can sometimes feel like a yoga session, with the client feeling more pretzel than gazelle. This can really diminish the fun and spontaneity of a shoot.

Teri’s final point really hits home when she gets the audience to take two different selfies: one from the classic selfie angle from above and the other from below, with multiple chins. She asks us which angle our children and pets see us from the most. Of course, it’s the dreaded second angle. And do they love us any less from that angle, she asks?

Horrifyingly, she is correct. Our good deeds, achievements and all the wonderful things that make us human aren’t diminished by that funky angle. And this is perhaps something we should remember and celebrate: a photograph is just a single moment in time, capturing us and our clients in our beautiful, messy, chaotic human selves. What’s not to love about that?

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