23 Things You Will Never Hear a Professional Photographer Say

Sep 17, 2015

Missy Mwac

We love it when our readers get in touch with us to share their stories. This article was contributed to DIYP by a member of our community. If you would like to contribute an article, please contact us here.

23 Things You Will Never Hear a Professional Photographer Say

Sep 17, 2015

Missy Mwac

We love it when our readers get in touch with us to share their stories. This article was contributed to DIYP by a member of our community. If you would like to contribute an article, please contact us here.

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    • I love it when clients RE-edit my images and then share them on Facebook.
    • No, no…by all means…you go ahead and pose yourself.
    • Come on, weather…I need a bright sunny day and NO shade!
    • I’m sorry you don’t like your new hair cut in these pictures; that’s totally my fault.
    • Okay, clothing suggestions: you wear stripes; you wear polka dots; you wear a “Hello Kitty” shirt and you wear a suit.
    • I wish I could edit this wedding forever.
    • Are you nuts? Of course I can make a homemade meal for dinner, help with homework, give baths AND edit this mountain of images tonight. All before 8pm.

  • I keep my prices as low as possible because I enjoy working really hard for less than minimum wage.
  • I know it’s the middle of the reception and I’ve been working hard for 7 hours, but I really really don’t want a cold margarita.
  • Hey, you’re a photographer, too, huh? Well, I was photographing MY client here, but go ahead and take the spot and we’ll go somewhere else.
  • “Mommy loves it when you get all needy and clingy when she’s on a deadline.”
  • I am happy to change your album layout as many times as you’d like.
  • No, please. I don’t want any new equipment.
  • Make sure to bring your baby in hungry and without a nap.
  • I didn’t really learn anything, but dammit, I am so happy I spent $1000 on this workshop anyway.
  • I’m really thinking that a 30×40 canvas might be too big for you to enjoy.
  • Are you kidding? I don’t need money…the EXPOSURE I’ll get from this is enough.
  • Hey, thanks everybody in this Facebook Photography Group for your unsolicited opinions. Keep ‘em coming!
  • This here is a USB drive and you will pass it down from generation to generation.
  • It’s no big deal that you were an hour late. I was actually thankful for an hour to play Candy Crush on my phone.
  • OH! You stole my picture and posted it, pretending like it’s yours. That’s so FUN!
  • Thank God there’s a DJ at this wedding acting like my second shooter.
  • OMG! You are SO right. It IS just “pushing a button.”

About The Author

Missy Mwac is a photographer/eater of bacon/drinker of vodka and a guide through the murky waters of professional photography. You can follow her social media links here: Facebook, Tumblr. This article was also published here and shared with permission.

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We love it when our readers get in touch with us to share their stories. This article was contributed to DIYP by a member of our community. If you would like to contribute an article, please contact us here.

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12 responses to “23 Things You Will Never Hear a Professional Photographer Say”

  1. Ahmet Avatar
    Ahmet

    Every profession has a list like this. And every single one of them about the clients.

  2. stewart norton Avatar
    stewart norton

    Lol….had a email from a client today “Love the album but in one shot of the service when I am laughing in the background mum looks like shes in a world if her own….cant you take her out.” !!

    1. Jeremy Christopher Avatar
      Jeremy Christopher

      That would be a great upgrade fee.

    2. Michael Egbert Avatar
      Michael Egbert

      Take her out!? Like a head-punch or sniper style? ;)

  3. Jeremy Christopher Avatar
    Jeremy Christopher

    Wedding photographers are obviously whiny little pussies. I see rants like this all too often; which, in my eyes, means no one gives a crap about you anymore… and yes, everyone has a camera in their pocket and most people don’t care about high end lenses and lighting anymore; it’s just not cost effective for most clients.

    Give it a few years, with neuro-processors automatically coming up with the best shots, automated quiet drones with decent glass attached and network media capturing and your freakin’ job will be useless, thankfully. Sure I’m more of a pro photographer than not, but when I take better pictures than most wedding photo pros do, all I can think of is that most of these fools need a different profession.

    Maybe try adding automated video recordings using VJ software, stationary cameras and template transitions / titles / graphics and then we can talk; otherwise ya’ll overpriced anyway. And freakin’ release your photos to the client (even if for a fee), it’s not your damn wedding and it IS what any client would want anyway. Really, just give up already :P

    1. KevinNewsome Avatar
      KevinNewsome

      Well, aren’t you mr sunshine.

    2. canonboi Avatar
      canonboi

      Truth

  4. Francis Bacon Avatar
    Francis Bacon

    “Missy Mwac is a photographer/eater of bacon/drinker of vodka…”
    I like this gal.

    1. BubbaBuck Avatar
      BubbaBuck

      Truth

  5. cbenci Avatar
    cbenci

    DIY Photography? I’m sick of whiny lists.

  6. Junjun Pateron Avatar
    Junjun Pateron

    “Thank God there’s a DJ at this wedding acting like my second shooter.’ – I think I read this a week ago.

  7. Michael Egbert Avatar
    Michael Egbert

    This type of article is sooo June 2015….