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23 Things You Will Never Hear a Professional Photographer Say

Sep 17, 2015 by Missy Mwac 12 Comments

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23things

    • I love it when clients RE-edit my images and then share them on Facebook.
    • No, no…by all means…you go ahead and pose yourself.
    • Come on, weather…I need a bright sunny day and NO shade!
    • I’m sorry you don’t like your new hair cut in these pictures; that’s totally my fault.
    • Okay, clothing suggestions: you wear stripes; you wear polka dots; you wear a “Hello Kitty” shirt and you wear a suit.
    • I wish I could edit this wedding forever.
    • Are you nuts? Of course I can make a homemade meal for dinner, help with homework, give baths AND edit this mountain of images tonight. All before 8pm.

  • I keep my prices as low as possible because I enjoy working really hard for less than minimum wage.
  • I know it’s the middle of the reception and I’ve been working hard for 7 hours, but I really really don’t want a cold margarita.
  • Hey, you’re a photographer, too, huh? Well, I was photographing MY client here, but go ahead and take the spot and we’ll go somewhere else.
  • “Mommy loves it when you get all needy and clingy when she’s on a deadline.”
  • I am happy to change your album layout as many times as you’d like.
  • No, please. I don’t want any new equipment.
  • Make sure to bring your baby in hungry and without a nap.
  • I didn’t really learn anything, but dammit, I am so happy I spent $1000 on this workshop anyway.
  • I’m really thinking that a 30×40 canvas might be too big for you to enjoy.
  • Are you kidding? I don’t need money…the EXPOSURE I’ll get from this is enough.
  • Hey, thanks everybody in this Facebook Photography Group for your unsolicited opinions. Keep ‘em coming!
  • This here is a USB drive and you will pass it down from generation to generation.
  • It’s no big deal that you were an hour late. I was actually thankful for an hour to play Candy Crush on my phone.
  • OH! You stole my picture and posted it, pretending like it’s yours. That’s so FUN!
  • Thank God there’s a DJ at this wedding acting like my second shooter.
  • OMG! You are SO right. It IS just “pushing a button.”

About The Author

Missy Mwac is a photographer/eater of bacon/drinker of vodka and a guide through the murky waters of professional photography. You can follow her social media links here: Facebook, Tumblr. This article was also published here and shared with permission.

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30 lines that you never want to ever hear from a client Now you don’t even have to be a professional photographer to be a certified professional photographer What NOT to say during a photo shoot and what you should say instead A couple looks for a professional wedding photographer, pays with a chance to say “I’ve shot a wedding before”

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: business of photography, humor, Missy Mwac

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