23 Things You Will Never Hear a Professional Photographer Say

• I love it when clients RE-edit my images and then share them on Facebook.
• No, no…by all means…you go ahead and pose yourself.
• Come on, weather…I need a bright sunny day and NO shade!
• I’m sorry you don’t like your new hair cut in these pictures; that’s totally my fault.
• Okay, clothing suggestions: you wear stripes; you wear polka dots; you wear a “Hello Kitty” shirt and you wear a suit.
• I wish I could edit this wedding forever.
• Are you nuts? Of course I can make a homemade meal for dinner, help with homework, give baths AND edit this mountain of images tonight. All before 8pm.

• I keep my prices as low as possible because I enjoy working really hard for less than minimum wage.
• I know it’s the middle of the reception and I’ve been working hard for 7 hours, but I really really don’t want a cold margarita.
• Hey, you’re a photographer, too, huh? Well, I was photographing MY client here, but go ahead and take the spot and we’ll go somewhere else.
• “Mommy loves it when you get all needy and clingy when she’s on a deadline.”
• I am happy to change your album layout as many times as you’d like.
• No, please. I don’t want any new equipment.
• Make sure to bring your baby in hungry and without a nap.
• I didn’t really learn anything, but dammit, I am so happy I spent $1000 on this workshop anyway.
• I’m really thinking that a 30×40 canvas might be too big for you to enjoy.
• Are you kidding? I don’t need money…the EXPOSURE I’ll get from this is enough.
• Hey, thanks everybody in this Facebook Photography Group for your unsolicited opinions. Keep ‘em coming!
• This here is a USB drive and you will pass it down from generation to generation.
• It’s no big deal that you were an hour late. I was actually thankful for an hour to play Candy Crush on my phone.
• OH! You stole my picture and posted it, pretending like it’s yours. That’s so FUN!
• Thank God there’s a DJ at this wedding acting like my second shooter.
• OMG! You are SO right. It IS just “pushing a button.”

About The Author

Missy Mwac is a photographer/eater of bacon/drinker of vodka and a guide through the murky waters of professional photography. You can follow her social media links here: Facebook, Tumblr. This article was also published here and shared with permission.